Some last bit of business before we kick off November.
Oktober’s stalker card was Forgiveness from the Halloween Oracle Deck. That bitch showed up 8 times. And while glancing thought my BOS, I happen upon the Self-Forgiveness spread.
So, with that spread and the fucking deck, let’s dig deep.
Origin: Describe the original event requiring self-forgiveness, Skull of Darkness, I have been putting this even offside, as something that I don’t need to deal with because it will cure itself. Well, it’s coming up to 5 months and it don’t look like it’s gonna fix itself.
Expectation: What my expectations are for myself around this event, Midnight, oh yeah. I am in a dark place about this event. I think I am gonna crash if I let this really hit me.
Perspective: How to put the original event into healthy perspective, Hearth, yes, this was my family.
Responsibility: How best to take responsibility for the original event, Nightsong, I shined a hard light on him and he didn’t like it.
Acceptance: How best to accept the original event, Spider, it threw me into that yes, I am non-binary and I am not backing down from that.
Inner story: Identify the inner story resulting from the original event, Invisibility, he showed me so much he was hiding from me.
Release: How best to release the resulting guilt/shame, Cauldron, I got to change. I don’t know how to and I am trying to find a way.
New action: How best to use the lessons from the original event to propel me into new, healthier action, Ghost, I NEED TO LET GO AND I DON’T KNOW HOW! CAN YOU TELL ME CARDS?!?
Compassions: How best to honor myself during this self-forgiveness process, Trick-or-Treat, I need to play.
This did not give the answers I need.